Komtimkad Dubdagfen is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, thoughtless walrus.

Komtimkad Dubdagfen created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Komtimkad Dubdagfen, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Komtimkad Dubdagfen, it will ignore you.

Komtimkad Dubdagfen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Komtimkad Dubdagfen's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always help eagles in need.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Do not hurt grasshopers.

5. Do not eat onions.