Quartjamnull is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient unicorn.

Quartjamnull created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartjamnull, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quartjamnull, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quartjamnull's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Quartjamnull's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mites.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never run near shrews.

5. Quartjamnull must be the most important thing in your life.