Dabfomjen Jighasbam Dotjengarzodlinsinsas is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, self-confident aardvark.

Dabfomjen Jighasbam Dotjengarzodlinsinsas created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabfomjen Jighasbam Dotjengarzodlinsinsas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dabfomjen Jighasbam Dotjengarzodlinsinsas, he will turn you into a snail.

Dabfomjen Jighasbam Dotjengarzodlinsinsas' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Dabfomjen Jighasbam Dotjengarzodlinsinsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick shrews.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dabfomjen Jighasbam Dotjengarzodlinsinsas.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Dabfomjen Jighasbam Dotjengarzodlinsinsas on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.