Metgepnul is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, sapient hare.

Metgepnul created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Metgepnul, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Metgepnul, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Metgepnul's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Metgepnul's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven seals approach from the east.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide from blue bats for they are unholy.

5. Do not make images of living things.