Yartbutfen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart wolf.

Yartbutfen created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartbutfen, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yartbutfen, she will refuse to believe in you.

Yartbutfen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yartbutfen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yartbutfen first in all things.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Always obey Yartbutfen's priests.