Flamhitarm Janmoblipgil is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic cat.

Flamhitarm Janmoblipgil created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamhitarm Janmoblipgil, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flamhitarm Janmoblipgil, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Flamhitarm Janmoblipgil's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Flamhitarm Janmoblipgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always obey Flamhitarm Janmoblipgil's priests.