Migzenjop is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sage gerbil.

Migzenjop created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Migzenjop, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Migzenjop, he will torture you forever.

Migzenjop's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Migzenjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Put Migzenjop first in all things.

3. Never feed parsnips to geese while wearing fawn boots.

4. Always help sick horses.

5. Do not jump in public.