Tonklengar is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous dingo.

Tonklengar created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonklengar, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tonklengar, she will think nothing of it.

Tonklengar's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tonklengar's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Never eat bark.