Bestvadtarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart snail.

Bestvadtarg created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestvadtarg, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bestvadtarg, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bestvadtarg's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bestvadtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Hide from gray gulls for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not chop down trees.