Kanbafmut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate elephant.

Kanbafmut created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kanbafmut, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Kanbafmut, she will turn you into a mole.

Kanbafmut's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Kanbafmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Hide from blue grasshopers for they are unholy.

5. Never laugh in the presence of capybaras.