Veenteenarp is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered hamster.

Veenteenarp created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenteenarp, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Veenteenarp, it will turn you into a goat.

Veenteenarp's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Veenteenarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Retreat if five sharks approach from the west.

5. Never paint your face white.