Bissidflowfem Soghimjan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, passionate toad.

Bissidflowfem Soghimjan created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Bissidflowfem Soghimjan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bissidflowfem Soghimjan, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bissidflowfem Soghimjan's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bissidflowfem Soghimjan's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bissidflowfem Soghimjan.

2. Do not take Bissidflowfem Soghimjan's name in vain.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.