Ontdadbon is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless clam.

Ontdadbon created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontdadbon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ontdadbon, it will turn you into a rock.

Ontdadbon's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ontdadbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never wear brown tights.