Quimartquilltinnablun is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, staggering hummingbird.

Quimartquilltinnablun created the Sol system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quimartquilltinnablun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quimartquilltinnablun, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quimartquilltinnablun's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Quimartquilltinnablun's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Quimartquilltinnablun's priests.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.