Ved is a god.
It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-assured
faun.
Ved created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Ved, it will give you a free planet.
If you do not believe in
Ved, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.
Ved's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.
Ved's Holy Commandments1. Never play with disobedient children.
2. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.
3. Do not make images of living things.
4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.
5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.