Matbellnad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless donkey.

Matbellnad created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matbellnad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Matbellnad, it will turn you into a hamster.

Matbellnad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Matbellnad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine lead sculptures of Matbellnad on top of important buildings.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think ill of sick sharks.

5. Always help sick mites.