Yamhaplan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring ferret.

Yamhaplan created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamhaplan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yamhaplan, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yamhaplan's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Yamhaplan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Yamhaplan loves foxes, so they must be respected.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Do not take Yamhaplan's name in vain.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.