Talfag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, happy porpoise.

Talfag created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Talfag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Talfag, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Talfag's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Talfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always look after injured tortoises.

5. Never talk about fire.