Bemcutspag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, stupid dingo.

Bemcutspag created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemcutspag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bemcutspag, it will turn you into a frog.

Bemcutspag's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bemcutspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.