Fonflowlam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, irritating cobra.

Fonflowlam created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fonflowlam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fonflowlam, he will torture you forever.

Fonflowlam's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fonflowlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never pour water over plants.