Zagcudmum is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, confident cobra.

Zagcudmum created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagcudmum, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zagcudmum, it will turn you into a mouse.

Zagcudmum's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Zagcudmum's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Never wear pink corsets.

5. Never hurt whales.