Dimqueegxuc Flabhogham is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy fly.

Dimqueegxuc Flabhogham created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimqueegxuc Flabhogham, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dimqueegxuc Flabhogham, it will come to you in dreams.

Dimqueegxuc Flabhogham's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Dimqueegxuc Flabhogham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never laugh near bats.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat cucumbers.