Jatripbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sage pigeon.

Jatripbonk created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatripbonk, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Jatripbonk, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jatripbonk's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Jatripbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always pray immersed in water.