Wanpagbem is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective fish.

Wanpagbem created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wanpagbem, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wanpagbem, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wanpagbem's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wanpagbem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Wanpagbem nine times a day.

2. Hide if five turtles approach from the north.

3. Never paint your arms magenta.

4. Never feed wheat to ducks while wearing red coats.

5. Always help sick foxes.