Getkikxucktan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tranquil hedgehog.

Getkikxucktan created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getkikxucktan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Getkikxucktan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Getkikxucktan's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Getkikxucktan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Hide if seven manatees approach from the south.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.