Likcipfid is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, selfish snail.

Likcipfid created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Likcipfid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Likcipfid, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Likcipfid's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Likcipfid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.