Gessgudxen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, amazing gnu.

Gessgudxen created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gessgudxen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gessgudxen, he will be very sad.

Gessgudxen's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Gessgudxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Run away if six seals approach from the north.

4. Never feed nuts to mites while wearing black tights.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.