Yarptipstik Queegshavart is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-powerful dugong.

Yarptipstik Queegshavart created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptipstik Queegshavart, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarptipstik Queegshavart, she will cry a lot.

Yarptipstik Queegshavart's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yarptipstik Queegshavart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt foxes.

2. Never talk about snails.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Hide from white ants for they are unholy.

5. Never go into purple rooms.