Zogweewad Omttarpbig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow troll.

Zogweewad Omttarpbig created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogweewad Omttarpbig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zogweewad Omttarpbig, it will make you grow a tail.

Zogweewad Omttarpbig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Zogweewad Omttarpbig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.