Labhascapnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, charitable newt.

Labhascapnurt created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labhascapnurt, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Labhascapnurt, it will send minions to preach to you.

Labhascapnurt's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Labhascapnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick nematodes.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not kill ants.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Retreat if four tortoises approach from the east.