Yogpan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, quiet wombat.

Yogpan created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogpan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yogpan, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yogpan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yogpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.