San Fensatjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, sage wyrm.

San Fensatjarn created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in San Fensatjarn, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in San Fensatjarn, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

San Fensatjarn's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

San Fensatjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never paint your hands turquoise.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about fire.