Yimbastdob Batlapken is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful mink.

Yimbastdob Batlapken created the Tadpole Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Yimbastdob Batlapken, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yimbastdob Batlapken, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yimbastdob Batlapken's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Yimbastdob Batlapken's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always obey Yimbastdob Batlapken's priests.

3. Run away if eight turtles approach from the south.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Never eat bark.