Quatcadpit is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-assured squirrel.

Quatcadpit created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Quatcadpit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quatcadpit, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Quatcadpit's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Quatcadpit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Never paint your arms yellow.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help eagles.

5. Do not commit murder.