Matvolzen is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witless dragonfly.

Matvolzen created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matvolzen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Matvolzen, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Matvolzen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Matvolzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands purple.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not take Matvolzen's name in vain.

5. Never talk about nebulae.