Sawtansom is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, witless gorilla.

Sawtansom created the Virgo Supercluster three million years ago.

If you believe in Sawtansom, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sawtansom, he will manifest in front of you.

Sawtansom's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sawtansom's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always help sick squirrels.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Retreat if six rats approach from the west.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.