Jophadtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a large, sapient fish.

Jophadtarg created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jophadtarg, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jophadtarg, he will destroy your favourite star.

Jophadtarg's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Jophadtarg's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jophadtarg nine times a day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Run away if eight tortoises approach from the west.