Ruttmabflap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome eagle.

Ruttmabflap created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttmabflap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Ruttmabflap, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ruttmabflap's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Ruttmabflap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.