Canyar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, vain dragonfly.

Canyar created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canyar, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Canyar, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Canyar's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Canyar's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Canyar.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. You must love Canyar.

4. Canyar loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Canyar must be the most important thing in your life.