Hudmabort is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, selfish tapir.

Hudmabort created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hudmabort, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hudmabort, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hudmabort's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hudmabort's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. Do not kill squirrels.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.