Vonkhugtig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm cow.

Vonkhugtig created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkhugtig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vonkhugtig, he will be very unhappy.

Vonkhugtig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Vonkhugtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.