Lakzimmin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, contented donkey.

Lakzimmin created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakzimmin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lakzimmin, he will curse you with boils.

Lakzimmin's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Lakzimmin's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.