Bastbonzen Banmansaw is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest giraffe.

Bastbonzen Banmansaw created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastbonzen Banmansaw, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bastbonzen Banmansaw, he will be mildly annoyed.

Bastbonzen Banmansaw's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bastbonzen Banmansaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Always pray immersed in water.