Bastkinpan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, caring tortoise.

Bastkinpan created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastkinpan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bastkinpan, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bastkinpan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bastkinpan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bastkinpan.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always obey Bastkinpan's priests.

5. You must never eat rice.