Wotfudvonk is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful rat.

Wotfudvonk created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotfudvonk, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wotfudvonk, she will turn you into a frog.

Wotfudvonk's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Wotfudvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Retreat if eight frogs approach from the east.

3. Wotfudvonk loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Wotfudvonk on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.