Tifbanhud is a god.

He takes the form of a small, almighty elephant.

Tifbanhud created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifbanhud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifbanhud, he will be very sad.

Tifbanhud's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tifbanhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about foxes.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Do not speak about figs.