Dutnartmilzan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, egotistical slug.

Dutnartmilzan created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutnartmilzan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dutnartmilzan, it will turn you into a goat.

Dutnartmilzan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dutnartmilzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not speak about turnips.