Badbonnuttrotkon is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, able otter.

Badbonnuttrotkon created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Badbonnuttrotkon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Badbonnuttrotkon, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Badbonnuttrotkon's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Badbonnuttrotkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not take Badbonnuttrotkon's name in vain.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never eat beans.