Nadkipaf Jigquagjip is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic cat.

Nadkipaf Jigquagjip created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nadkipaf Jigquagjip, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nadkipaf Jigquagjip, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nadkipaf Jigquagjip's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nadkipaf Jigquagjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Run away if six dolphins approach from the east.

5. Always stare at clouds.