Hunstiklig Lungumxem is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, generous lobster.

Hunstiklig Lungumxem created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hunstiklig Lungumxem, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hunstiklig Lungumxem, he will turn you into a rock.

Hunstiklig Lungumxem's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hunstiklig Lungumxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. You must love Hunstiklig Lungumxem.